“A Small Test in My Life”

I live happily and quietly now. I don’t have much stress from other people because presently I don’t work and my family consists of only me, my father and younger brother. My world is very small and peaceful.

Even though I live in my small and peaceful world, relating to others are complicated and troublesome. I sometimes feel it is hard for me to be good at associating with others. For example, there is a woman in my neighborhood who likes to boast about herself. We often have to listen to her proud words in our town meetings, festivals, parties and so on.

Listening to her insensitive pride translated into senseless words many times makes me sick and all fed up. I think boasting is uncomfortable for everybody. She continues to be too proud of herself because probably she is the only one who doesn’t notice the situation. Only a few people who flatter her pretend to be glad listening to her stories. As others are mature adults, they try to endure the same topics about herself over again and again.

I don’t know how to accompany such people. Even though it is not serious as it looks, it is very uncomfortable for me and that is now becoming a problem.

I complained to my friends about her after that and I was able to discover that other people don’t like her either. Some even advised me not to relate to her anymore. On the other hand, one of my close friends had a different opinion. She told me that she has a very strong personality and if I could try to connect to her, it would somehow improve my own. Her opinion was an eye-opener for me.

I suddenly realized I closed my mind against her because I didn't like her and my closed heart prevented me from knowing her real character. She is talented, generous and frank and maybe she only conceals her inferiority complex at the same time that is the reason why she is boastful. I think I just didn't want to admit good side of her because of the bad impression which I unknowingly generated due to her strong character.

If I had been more tolerant, she could have a chance to show me her real self which I could like eventually.

Trying to understand her made me recognize that I tend to shut off people who have different attitude from mine and be judgmental.

To be honest, it is still difficult for me to accept her but now I realized that admitting her gives me the way to wide and rich perception. I’m sure that the problem between her and me is a small test in my life. I believe overcoming the small test will improve my identity even more.